I just re-read yesterday's post, and wow did it ever strike me as sounding negative and down, when that is not how I feel at all!! I wonder if I am covering up my real feelings and so good at it that I am fooling myself? I sure hope not.
Anyway... I have spent several hours this morning writing in my notebook, lists of things I appreciate and the things I want and the tools I am using, and I had noticed something that came up for me from the subconscious this morning as my back was hurting and I was thinking about why and where this and the Fibromyalgia and other physical injuries and so on have sprung from. It hit me suddenly that they are protection. Protection from having to do things that would injure me more, or that I REALLY didn't want to do, or that I felt it was unfair to be asked and expected to do. Mostly centering around my mother, but also life in general. I asked the Universe, Before I knew about the LOA, to get me out of the job I had that I hated, I asked for time to figure out what I really want and ways to do that. BAM! Here ya go, Fibro!
When I was in High School I was able to manifest illness with a fever at will, in order to control when I had to take exams and do things. I also in more recent years gained a LOT of weight, also protection, from social pressure and feeling I had to participate in things I didnt really want to.
Of course it brings other kinds of pressure but I also know I can get rid of it when I am ready. Which I am now, and I am doing it MY WAY. I refuse to listen to all the doctors and society's STUFF.
Now I know where the need for these things came from, I can address that directly, woo hoo! in a positive way, from my vortex!
So today I have begun with writing again which I had put on the back burner since last year. that's all for now...I think its nap time...
OH, I almost forgot to mention. As I realized why my back was injured, and why it was hurting, it STOPPED. Just like that. Instant manifestation.
I was going to add more but I think I shall wait till tomorrow, my concentration is being broken by the sounds of frustration coming from upstairs. (mother on her computer)
So I am off to create a wonderful night's sleep!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
100 Days of manifesting changes
So tomorrow begins a new era, LOL, 100 days purposefully practicing the use of the Law of Attraction to manifest changes. In my attitude and possibly circumstances, hopefully my income and turning my challenges around to be seen as positive kicks in the butt! This is a blurb I wrote earlier today on a group page on facebook where there are hundreds of us doing the 100 day idea.
'My 100 days... There are so many things I have started and then gotten bogged down and not continued with because of little stumbling blocks. There are lots of things I am wanting to manifest, and there are obstacles that come back to being named 'money'. I am not sure where to begin! I use many tools, and part of my 100 days is to become more consistent in the use of them. I think I shall call this time my 'magical 100'. First and foremost is to be in my vortex as often as possible. I am going to make my lists and get clearer on what I want and hope to accomplish during this time. I want to overcome the feeling that I want too much! Having been a follower of Abe for about 5 years now I have read many books and watched hundreds of youtube videos, I still have not gotten to a workshop never mind a cruise... they are on my list of wants for sure.
I want to get healthy and lose 90#, I have Sierra Goodman's tools and am following a low GI sort of program and that will happen'
I want to get healthy and lose 90#, I have Sierra Goodman's tools and am following a low GI sort of program and that will happen'
I have a long list of things I want from getting my car fixed and being able to pay all of my bills, to moving into a wonderful place that I have been dreaming up all the details of for years. Actually dreaming of a new vehicle, but within the 100 days, ending January 8, I would be thrilled to be on my way to these bigger things. SO I have been thinking what is the best way for me to identify what i want and what I am going to do in order to allow these things to take place. I know I gotta be in my Vortex, as Abraham-Hicks calls it, that total place of allowing and being happy, appreciating everything and when not in that space, knowing how to get back there quickly.
I want to get organized and have my jewelry-making going, my herbal stuff going on, writing and photography as well. I REALLY want a laptop, it would be AWESOME if it could be a Mac! There is a lot more but these are the top things for this time period. After that, when I am healthier I also am going to get back to dancing and singing!
First of all though, I will need to have more energy, and feel more able to get out there and meet people.
So now, there are so many tools to avail myself of during this time, I have collected numerous books and videos and cds for meditating, and processes to use for daily connecting with my inner self, to become the person I want to be. Choosing which to use is the hard part. So I am going to reach for whatever I am drawn to each day, along with the aforementioned Stuff from Sierra, and the 'getting into the Vortex meditations' from Abraham-Hicks. I am intending to notice all the little things that manifest, all the magickal moments each day, and make note of them. I intend to be as positive and happy as I am able, but not beat myself up at any time that I am not feeling so much so. I know I simply will be reaching for whatever thoughts bring relief from those that dont make me so happy!
I avoid negative people and situations to the best of my ability, I refuse to be drawn into discussions centering around things that feel not so good. I have one Main challenge to that though, and its called my mother. With my Fibromyalgia and income being only SSDI I am living in her house. We have different priorities and and completely different views on EVERYTHING, more so since I discovered Abraham-Hicks, I cant discuss or share the stuff with her because I don't want to get into negative discussions. She has so many rules for living under her roof, her control needs, that I am feeling stifled. I do not even talk on the phone while she is home because she listens and questions and I feel defensively overprotective of my privacy. I have no social life, hardly any friends, and this last couple of years I dont even go anywhere because of a combination of things like elderly cats who dont do well under her care, and lack of funds, and no friends to go with, not to mention my car needing repairs. Hahaha. I have really worked myself into a very limited corner of life here, and it is TIME TO BREAK FREE!!!
How, and when exactly, and with what, are the details I leave for the Universe, my Universal Manager will be handling all of that while I work on feeling my way along in allowing things and following impulses to do stuff that will lead to progress.
Now, I shall have to stop here, because it is storming, lightning and thunder and though I love that I feel the need to turn off the computer to keep it safe.
So there is my first entry leading into my adventure of change. I am calling this time my magickal 100. :)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Once again, time has gotten away from me!
Good morning all, Its a cold winter morning, just 9 degrees Fahrenheit here in Massachusetts. The sun is shining, we have not yet had a snowfall of more than a dusting. THe rest of the country and much of Europe have been digging out for over a month, one can truly see how the earth's changes are affecting us. According to the Mayan calender and predictions, the magnetic poles are switching... we are experiencing strange weather patterns, lots of earthquakes, and who knows what all is coming.
Meanwhile, we have daily life to attend to, and it is the holiday season. Personally I have found this hard for years, as my family has never really celebrated and it was only 3 of us for a long time, while all around people gathered in large family groups and did a huge Christmas thing, spending lots of money and enjoying something I only wished to experience. This added to my already 'outside looking in' feeling that I have had all my life concerning most things.
Darker days, and deep bone-chilling cold, I hibernate through most of it, sleeping a lot, and feeling drugged through much. Is this my Fibro, or S.A.D., or just my protection from feeling left out? All of the above in some way or other I think.
Then I turn around and think, well, I am actually glad that I feel differently from most people, I am am Indigo, I have premonitions, I am in love with nature and have found my path through all my loves of making things and feeling crystals and loving herbs and the moon and all the phases and the magical things of the unseen dimensions... I am a pagan. And I celebrate Yule, as a celebration in the middle of the coldest darkest time, the return of the light on Sostice, having a tree and feeling in touch with nature and her cycles.
I only wish I could celebrate openly with understanding from others, instead of condemnation. I wish my family understood and would join me. But it is what it is.
This year I have my son Ryan here, and now he is experiencing life with my mother to be even more exasperating than I have ever described to anyone else. I feel so sad that we are not being able to do happy things together, that life revolves around the lack of money in this house, that I feel I must hide anything I buy to do fun stuff with because I will be pointed at with the 'where did the money for THAT come from, when you can't pay your bills or any of what you owe ME'. I have in my closet the makings for bird feeding stuff, and have yet to do it because of that.
Surviving on Disability, KNOWING in my HEART that I can do more, that I can make a living at things I am good at instinctively if given the space physically and emotionally to do so, it makes me crazy.
And yet, If I believe, as I do, that we make our own lives, create our own experiences, then it is in my hands to change all this. The question is how... and I know that answer too. Having the energy and the focus to do it, daily, ignoring the negativity all around me with concentration and feeling the true joy in my heart... That is where I falter... Often falling asleep as I meditate and do my envisioning how I know the true spirit of those around me is, it is a tough job to follow through on. Yet I know its even tougher to remain with things the way they are.
So as in all things, it is one day at a time, one step at a time... reaching for the better feeling, the thoughts and ideas that fuel my passion, knowing this will change things even though I cannot yet see the physical manifestation of it .
Meanwhile, we have daily life to attend to, and it is the holiday season. Personally I have found this hard for years, as my family has never really celebrated and it was only 3 of us for a long time, while all around people gathered in large family groups and did a huge Christmas thing, spending lots of money and enjoying something I only wished to experience. This added to my already 'outside looking in' feeling that I have had all my life concerning most things.
Darker days, and deep bone-chilling cold, I hibernate through most of it, sleeping a lot, and feeling drugged through much. Is this my Fibro, or S.A.D., or just my protection from feeling left out? All of the above in some way or other I think.
Then I turn around and think, well, I am actually glad that I feel differently from most people, I am am Indigo, I have premonitions, I am in love with nature and have found my path through all my loves of making things and feeling crystals and loving herbs and the moon and all the phases and the magical things of the unseen dimensions... I am a pagan. And I celebrate Yule, as a celebration in the middle of the coldest darkest time, the return of the light on Sostice, having a tree and feeling in touch with nature and her cycles.
I only wish I could celebrate openly with understanding from others, instead of condemnation. I wish my family understood and would join me. But it is what it is.
This year I have my son Ryan here, and now he is experiencing life with my mother to be even more exasperating than I have ever described to anyone else. I feel so sad that we are not being able to do happy things together, that life revolves around the lack of money in this house, that I feel I must hide anything I buy to do fun stuff with because I will be pointed at with the 'where did the money for THAT come from, when you can't pay your bills or any of what you owe ME'. I have in my closet the makings for bird feeding stuff, and have yet to do it because of that.
Surviving on Disability, KNOWING in my HEART that I can do more, that I can make a living at things I am good at instinctively if given the space physically and emotionally to do so, it makes me crazy.
And yet, If I believe, as I do, that we make our own lives, create our own experiences, then it is in my hands to change all this. The question is how... and I know that answer too. Having the energy and the focus to do it, daily, ignoring the negativity all around me with concentration and feeling the true joy in my heart... That is where I falter... Often falling asleep as I meditate and do my envisioning how I know the true spirit of those around me is, it is a tough job to follow through on. Yet I know its even tougher to remain with things the way they are.
So as in all things, it is one day at a time, one step at a time... reaching for the better feeling, the thoughts and ideas that fuel my passion, knowing this will change things even though I cannot yet see the physical manifestation of it .
Monday, November 29, 2010
Flowering Tree Botanicals Product Review
received a box with 3 of their newest products.
Today I opened and smelled the Cran Orange Marmalade whipped sugar scrub. It comes in 2 sizes, and I have the smallewr one her, 2 ounces, in a clear plastic recycleable jar. Oh, yum!! I love the sugar scrubs as they are both scrubby and creamy, its sugar so it dissolves without any harsh granules. It turns to a soft gently foaming soap, its great on the face and all over the body! I have found that if I scrub first and then apply water I get a more scrubbed feeling before the sugar dissolves, and then nice and smooth after. Its better than the one I used to buy with ground almonds that I loved and thought I'd always use! And the scents! So many delicious fragrances to choose from!
After my shower I used the Cranberry Fig Whipped Body Creme, in a smaller version of the same jar, 1 ounce try-me size. Its a lovely delicate scent that is slightly sweet but not overpoweringly so. I was wary of the fig part in the name as there is a well known store that has some other fig scented products that are just way too sweet and strong and though one sniff is nice, they tend to make me a little nauseous after a while. I had nothing to worry about, this in no way resembles that! Its wonderful. satiny smooth and soaks right in without leaving any residual feel, other that a touch of velvety smoothness. Not greasy at all. When used on my hands, there is no greasy feeling. I do love their cremes, especially in the harsh cold dry air of winter outdoors and the heating indoors! No itchy skin here!
I have one more product that I have only just opened. Same packaging, and it smells like a pina colada! The fragrance is called Monkey Business, and its a Whipped Soap and Shaving Cream formula that I use in the shower. Also very smooth and moisturizing, I can't get enough of these!
So my review is not unbiased becaus I already love these products! But one never knows what a new fragrance will be like. All three of these are winners in my book! These are products to make you feel special every day, and I often cannot wait to take my next shower or bath with the goodies from FTB!!!
Check them out ! On Facebook they are: Flowering Tree Botanicals, http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=135639719822459&id=100001002550244¬if_t=feed_comment_reply#!/floweringtreebotanicalsfans
and on Etsy The Url is: http://www.etsy.com/shop/laylaga_search_query=Layla&ga_search_type=seller_usernames
or you can go to http://www.etsy.com/ and enter 'Layla' in the drop down menu where it says "handmade".
Friday, November 26, 2010
Testing ..one..two..three.. here we go!
It has been nearly 2 years since my last blog post from my other blog.. and I have been meaning and wanting to get one going again. It serves more than one purpose for me, and it is somewheat scary to share with other people. Having been sharing more of who I am on Facebook over the last couple of years or so now, getting to know myself better, and becoming stronger in my ability to be myself online, if not here in my mother's house, I feel I am ready to do this.
I have pondered having a particular thing to blog about, but I just can't focus it that way. I have too many interests to do that. So it will be a mishmash of whatever I am feeling and thinking about at the time, and I am not going to apologise for it, LOL. Well, not in advance, anyway. I have learned not to set constraints such as 'never' and 'always' as that is like asking for proof that I'm wrong.
I would like to introduce myself, but that will happen a little at a time as I go. Suffice it to say I am living in a challenging situation which fustrates me often, and that will come through. I am interested in herbal studies as medicinal and crafts and I love to make tinctures and oils and salves, lip balms and body care products. I also make jewelry, and have a shop on Etsy to sell what I make.
I love to cook and collect recipes, and on Facebook I have a group called A Cauldron in the Kitchen for serving those interests. I am a Pagan at heart, a witch by nature, and an avid Abraham-Hicks follower.
I live on an income from disability for now, until such time as I can get my financial feet back under me in some way. I have fibromyalgia, and something else that I can't quite remember the name of at the moment (thank you Fibro). Also other fairly common american health problems. I believe in alternative health care and despise the pharmaceutical companies for what they and the government are doing. I do not believe in the almighty power of doctors, and would much prefer a holistic approach that addresses an underlying problem rather than the symptoms.
I have two elderly cats who have me wrapped around their tails and whiskers. I love animals and nature and mother earth. I believe in eating as healthily as possible, and in using products that are not filled with chemicals, as unprocessed as possible, as close to nature as possible. I also love my coffee and chocolate, desserts are my weakness!
I think that's probably enough for now...Welcome to my blog.
I have pondered having a particular thing to blog about, but I just can't focus it that way. I have too many interests to do that. So it will be a mishmash of whatever I am feeling and thinking about at the time, and I am not going to apologise for it, LOL. Well, not in advance, anyway. I have learned not to set constraints such as 'never' and 'always' as that is like asking for proof that I'm wrong.
I would like to introduce myself, but that will happen a little at a time as I go. Suffice it to say I am living in a challenging situation which fustrates me often, and that will come through. I am interested in herbal studies as medicinal and crafts and I love to make tinctures and oils and salves, lip balms and body care products. I also make jewelry, and have a shop on Etsy to sell what I make.
I love to cook and collect recipes, and on Facebook I have a group called A Cauldron in the Kitchen for serving those interests. I am a Pagan at heart, a witch by nature, and an avid Abraham-Hicks follower.
I live on an income from disability for now, until such time as I can get my financial feet back under me in some way. I have fibromyalgia, and something else that I can't quite remember the name of at the moment (thank you Fibro). Also other fairly common american health problems. I believe in alternative health care and despise the pharmaceutical companies for what they and the government are doing. I do not believe in the almighty power of doctors, and would much prefer a holistic approach that addresses an underlying problem rather than the symptoms.
I have two elderly cats who have me wrapped around their tails and whiskers. I love animals and nature and mother earth. I believe in eating as healthily as possible, and in using products that are not filled with chemicals, as unprocessed as possible, as close to nature as possible. I also love my coffee and chocolate, desserts are my weakness!
I think that's probably enough for now...Welcome to my blog.
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