I just re-read yesterday's post, and wow did it ever strike me as sounding negative and down, when that is not how I feel at all!! I wonder if I am covering up my real feelings and so good at it that I am fooling myself? I sure hope not.
Anyway... I have spent several hours this morning writing in my notebook, lists of things I appreciate and the things I want and the tools I am using, and I had noticed something that came up for me from the subconscious this morning as my back was hurting and I was thinking about why and where this and the Fibromyalgia and other physical injuries and so on have sprung from. It hit me suddenly that they are protection. Protection from having to do things that would injure me more, or that I REALLY didn't want to do, or that I felt it was unfair to be asked and expected to do. Mostly centering around my mother, but also life in general. I asked the Universe, Before I knew about the LOA, to get me out of the job I had that I hated, I asked for time to figure out what I really want and ways to do that. BAM! Here ya go, Fibro!
When I was in High School I was able to manifest illness with a fever at will, in order to control when I had to take exams and do things. I also in more recent years gained a LOT of weight, also protection, from social pressure and feeling I had to participate in things I didnt really want to.
Of course it brings other kinds of pressure but I also know I can get rid of it when I am ready. Which I am now, and I am doing it MY WAY. I refuse to listen to all the doctors and society's STUFF.
Now I know where the need for these things came from, I can address that directly, woo hoo! in a positive way, from my vortex!
So today I have begun with writing again which I had put on the back burner since last year. that's all for now...I think its nap time...
OH, I almost forgot to mention. As I realized why my back was injured, and why it was hurting, it STOPPED. Just like that. Instant manifestation.
I was going to add more but I think I shall wait till tomorrow, my concentration is being broken by the sounds of frustration coming from upstairs. (mother on her computer)
So I am off to create a wonderful night's sleep!
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